Dilemma of the Soul
Chapter One
Let us set the Scene
THE SCENE commences with a one-sided conversation, an ear-bashing against A.do.nai.[i]
A little later, The Ru.ach-Ha.Ko.desh [ii] enters into the conversation.
Later still, Ma.shi.ach [iii] Himself joins in.
‘It is a beauteous evening
Calm and free…’ [iv]
he observed to no one
Wordsworth
Sorry?
Oh!
Where did You come from?
I wondered why there was suddenly
Such peace and calm
When my mind is anything but!
Turmoil
Back to front
Inside out
Upside down!
It’s no good praying to You
Because You never answer
More to the point
I don’t know Who You are anymore
I've all but abandoned what we call
Your Word ~ acerbic
Ha!
The Incontrovertible Word of God! ~ mocking
Isn’t that what we’re supposed to believe, hey?
All I see is at best a mishmash of history
At worst a fairytale
Even worse, best and worst mixed
And on that mix
Wars are fought
Whole nations are wiped out
Everyone insisting they have Your ear
Friend and foe alike
So… we’ve come to a state of impasse
I don’t believe You anymore
Sure. I like it when You
come here on this path
Have You seen the views?
Can You see ‘the lamps in England lighted
and evening wrecked on Wales?’[v]
Housman
Another fine man
Wordsworth and Housman
Two great poets
England’s finest
They too were oft times perplexed
It goes with the gift of the pen
My gifts to you are not meant
just for show
You have to trust Me on this
You have a responsibility to many
They trust you
Why couldn’t You have picked
another to do Your bidding?
It never entered My head
I have you in Mind… that’s all
I look at everyone as if each is Adam
Comprehende?
Can you grasp the significance of that?
Adam and Eve
A great allegory hey!
It suits My purpose
And it enables humankind to get a tangible
feel for Me
The Creator
And you’re not doing My bidding
So get that out of your head for a start.
I deal direct!
Sure. I often orchestrate.
Life is a symphony
I bring melody
A soothing, healing, balm where before raged evil
You love music don’t you?
Yes
I see you’re playing your favourite
theme
‘The Duchess’
Ermm Yep. It calms me
That’s good
I too like it.
I was quite made up
When Rachel composed that score
Your friends
Appreciates music too
They all do!
Flippancy?
Shrugging your shoulders?
A ‘Humphf’?
I'm speaking of universal things.
Just as your heart soars
with the strings in Portman’s theme,
so too their hearts soar, no,
better than that…
their spirits soar
and they commune direct with Me
The Spirit
The Ruach
The Wind
That which comes and goes
But from where you know not
You just know and accept
You can hear the score
I can hear every note, every sound,
every beat, every melody
simultaneously
And if I can do that with music
Then think things through in what
I hear in the beat of every heart
Man, Woman and Child
And EVERY breathing thing
And not just here
But throughout the Universe
The Cosmos
Beyond the Black Hole even
Widen your breadth of thinking
See the pain that I see
And the beauty I see
I AM is right!
Chapter Two
A shimmering.
A radiance far brighter even than the Sun
Blinding,
Yet not Pain,
none.
An enveloping.
I can never see You
unless I sort of look sideways
out of the corner of my eye... …
then I do see You …
Made up of myriad colours, images…
I can’t describe You
Let go
Listen
Learn
Accept My ways
Accept that My ways are past finding out…
As far from east is west
So is the distance between you and Us
And yet here you are standing in Our Presence
That’s good…
You’ve shut up the windows of your mind
You’ve not done that in a while have you?
Yes… but I do not understand
the pain and suffering
I do not understand why parents are taken
Why children are taken
Why there has to be this separation
in the most terrifying circumstances
All the way through history
All the religious books
Even in atheism
We see the same thing
And it’s getting worse
It is no different actually
Nothing has changed
You have knowledge and you have free will
You have chosen that as your birthright
Yes but why all the wars?
Why the hell on earth?
It seems to me, with respect, that the sooner
I get back to You the better
I can’t stand it down here
It IS hell
This IS hell
Not the hell that fairy tales tell us exist
In the centre of the earth godammit!
Sorry!
Calm down.
Reason things through.
What I mean, is that this life here
Is full of corruption and death
I see death and destruction
everywhere I look
And I can do nothing about it
I see beauty beyond description
And I see Your Creation
I see some, mark You, some answers,
But I don’t understand
You do not need to.
Chapter Three
A sudden rustling
Wind in all directions
Yet I stand untouched
Not a hair moves
A Hurricane
Yet without damage
Not even a leaf moves
Hi
What’s the problem?
Oh please. Don’t You start!
Wow. We are tetchy today. Ha-ha.
That’s good. It means you’re angry
…Shimon, whom you know as Petrov…a piece of rock
from Me … The Rock
‘chip off the old block’ Ian…get it? Ha-ha?
Who says We don’t have a sense of humour?
Well Petrov got himself into many tangles with his temper
He didn’t get on at all at first with Matthias,
Typical fisherman…
Didn’t mind paying his taxes
But begrudged paying them to the occupying power
…bad enough…
But oh boy! Matthias, also of the Tribe of Levi
Well, as far as Shimon was concerned
He’d done the dirty and was collecting taxes for the Romans
Even worse, he was of the Levitical Priesthood
So in Shimon’s view that made him legit for the chop
And as you know, he was a bit hasty in its use
Remember the ear cut off in Gethsemane?
You were’nt far from the spot that I put it back on
When you last popped in there you know
I only mention this because I heard you
Going on about history and fairytales!
Ermmmm. Indeed you may look a bit sheepish Ian!
Anyway, as I was saying,
Shimon and Matthias got on in the end.
As well you know.
But Petrov was always a hothead
Demanded answers
And had a tendency to run with the hare and the hounds
You mean the time Paul ticked him off
for having two sets of rules?
Yep. He’d eat with the gentiles without any fuss
But when the Elders were together
When the Rabbis dined, and with the people
Then he suddenly decided he couldn’t be seen
To eat with the gentiles
And Paul went ballistic!
I know! Because I was there.
Again, as you know.
I AM Ken!
Which in modern parlance means
I'm everywhere.
And I'm a carpenter by trade
And what’s the thing you couldn’t master at school?
Dovetail joints
Yes! Your tool box as I recall
ended up no bigger than a match box
“Cut ‘em off and do ‘em again!!” Isn't that what Mr. Woodman used to say and spray?
Gosh. You haven’t missed anything!
Glad you’ve noticed.
His Eyes sparkled, brilliant,
beyond anything I've seen
‘eyes darker than wine,
teeth whiter than milk’.
You’ve been perplexed today
I know
Jason's poem hit you for six.
It was meant to.
He is my son
He is very beautiful
As all Mine are – sons and daughters alike
And please!
Don’t start presuming
That some aren’t Mine.
I AM far greater than every single
Universe you could ever imagine
I AM beyond infinity Ian
I AM beyond comprehension
And yes.
I DID appear in the furness
with Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego
and as you know
in time
Nebuchadnezzar himself
became Mine
I admit I was tough on him
He suffered seven years of insanity
And then he found his mind again…
That’s when he obtained true perspective
And yep, one day in aeons to come,
You and everyone else will be chatting away
together
You like coffee don’t you
Well, there’s plenty of that
Old Nebu quite likes it too ;)
You’re never anything like I imagined You
No I know.
But I know how you see Me
And I am surrounding you with friends
Right across the earth
Friends who will stand by you
You have nothing to fear
only fear itself.
So that’s a non-starter.
Are you feeling better now?
Yes … … I am thanks
I'm so proud of Jason You All know!
And when I read ‘SOUL’
I saw for real
that which is fiction
in the pieces,
I'd written about the Holocaust.
The Most High sat quietly
on the sand-dune nearby
Yes I know.
And it was time for you to come face to face
With the hint of what I'd shown you in Bosnia
In that police station basement
You needed to see the outcome
Of, as you all say,
‘man’s inhumanity to man’.
It’s also giving you a glimpse
Just a tiny glimpse of how I felt
As I let go of Him
And turned my Face away
from the Execution Stake
You know Ian, that was very hard that
evil day
For I could have reversed it had I wanted to
But that would not have provided Salvation
I had to demonstrate that I would go the whole mile
Make the sacrifice
You know – do what I'd tested on Abraham and Isaac…
That I would not require of you all …
… for all of you.
You know what?
It was intense seeing the very
Host of Heaven
My Creation
Millions upon millions
Look upon Me The Most High
Look down upon Me broken
And nailed to a stake
Look to My Spirit…
Knowing full well
That We would not intervene
And seeing the pain and anguish
In their faces as they turned away
From My Son in shame and despair
Their wings folded, firmly pinned
And on that day
The very principalities and powers
Rocked the universe but knew they
Had to see it through
There was great anguish that day Ian
You only know it as an earthquake
But that was the shattering of the Universe
The subjugation of evil
And those words that pierced my heart
As surely as the sword pieced His side
Deus, Deus meus, ut quid dereliquisti Me
Eloi, Eloi, Lama Sabachtani
My God, My God, Why Hast Thou Forsaken Me
And then the glorious proclamation
That came From My Son’s lips Ken
And which cut through the hearts of all Three of Us
We, The Trinity
We, The Triune GOD
Three In One
It is finished!
Consummatum est!
Es ist vollbracht!
Il est fini!
Why Am I telling you these things Ken?
I AM witnessing to you
That which D has been through
And everyone else too
That when he speaks of the two edged sword
He speaks My Truth
Faith is sharper than any two edged sword
So sharp that it will plunge into the soul
And split bone from marrow
But it will not quench the spirit or destroy the soul
It’s a pleasant day today
Go for a run
Here. There’s nothing better
than racing a dog through the surf
You won’t win
But it’s great fun
So be off with you!
Image Courtesy the Photographer to whom all rights are reserved
[i] the LORD, YHWH, Jehovah
[ii] The Holy Spirit
[iii] Messiah
[iv] William Wordsworth, Calais, France ~ August 1802
[v] Alfred Edward Housman from the 3rd and final stanza of On forelands high in heaven
15 May 2023
All Rights Reserved
LIVERPOOL
© 2023 Kenneth Thomas Webb
Written 11 January 2014
My views in 2014 are not the views or sentiments I hold nine years on. When I last posted this on 15 May 2023, well, the distance between that date and 11 November 2023 is as fas as east is from west
The world stinks.
Human Nature is vile
It has always been vile
As for religion…
All religion ~ the three Fs
Fact Fiction Fairytale
Sun Over Earth ~ Photo by Jeremy Bezanger on Unsplash
Ken Webb is a writer and proofreader. His website, kennwebb.com, showcases his work as a writer, blogger and podcaster, resting on his successive careers as a police officer, progressing to a junior lawyer in succession and trusts as a Fellow of the Institute of Legal Executives, a retired officer with the Royal Air Force Volunteer Reserve, and latterly, for three years, the owner and editor of two lifestyle magazines in Liverpool.
He also just handed over a successful two year chairmanship in Gloucestershire with Cheltenham Regency Probus.
Pandemic aside, he spends his time equally between his city, Liverpool, and the county of his birth, Gloucestershire.
In this fast-paced present age, proof-reading is essential. And this skill also occasionally leads to copy-editing writers’ manuscripts for submission to publishers and also student and post graduate dissertations.