Faith ~ The Enigma of Religion
The Enigma of Religion
or
When Religion Cartwheels
I
People live lives according to faith underpinned by religion. Others live life underpinned by faith. Others live their lives by faith in themselves and in all of those they gather around them.
I have spent a lifetime reading the Bible. Others do likewise in whatever sacred texts underpin their religions. Again, others will read and be strengthened by the arts, literature, science, physics and in this incredible Universe. That’s life.
Rituals and customs are predominant. Pity the person who overlooks a ritual and accidentally misses a custom. God forbid, the people who dare to sidestep a ritual, to ignore a custom. What follows is never good.
II
Wilfred Owen discovered this for himself. Passionately evangelical, the train started to come off the rails when his natural ability to write, to compose, led him to secretly read the works of Keats, Tennyson, Monro, Hardy and Dickens, not good reading material in the vicar’s eyes (his landlord) for one of his ‘brothers’. No, not good at all!
Owen, had it coming to him from all sides, not least his mother and her sister. Nevertheless, familial love knows no bounds, and while he did not suffer the indignity of being cast out into the wilderness, those insufferable bible tracts ~ horrid little cartoon booklets “that can nicely fit into your pocket for you to have something to read on the bus or the train”, something also to help you to win souls for God before it is too late”, and so on, Owen stood his ground at the age of nineteen, speaking with the authority of today’s fortysomethings.
Addressing his erstwhile evangelical vicar, Herbert Wigan, Owen explains to the man that he now sees that:
“Christianity is no more than one system of ideas among many, and by no means the best because it allows no room for imagination, physical sensation, [or] aesthetic philosophy. ”
Poor Vicar Wigan. His whole life was set to the evangelical task of winning souls for God before it was too late and the gates of hell cut lost souls off from God forever.
II
There has to be freedom of expression, freedom of movement. I rarely find either in the church, whichever denomination.
I become irritated when bland voices stand each week to read the lesson, monotone, without thought or understanding of the words they speak. And off they toddle back to their seat full of false humility and silly Christian smiles. Well, at least we are spared the bums high in the air brigade on prayer mats, and the Satan’s dirge across the cities and towns. For the moment!
Not that satan exists, of course. Just a figment of ancient writing.
The Scene
(Oh you blasphemous man, Webb, you are surely going to reap the whirlwind, God rest His soul)
No. Don’t you mean, God rest my soul - me, Kenney Wenney - you can’t go poncing around resting God’s soul you silly idiot!
Anyway, sit down, and rest your soul. You look like your little ole body is about to do a Vesuvius!
Now, where was I. Ah yes. The Story
(And with great respect of course to the late great Frankie Howerd and that wonderful phrase, The Prologue)
Now, let’s see, how do we keep the people in thrall to us? How do we frighten them out of their wits so we have total control over them?
Oh yes! OH YES! I like it Brother Bender.
Yes, we will take that Garden of Eden story and make it into physical reality. Then we will add a nice little twist, and we’ll make that temptation become a thing, um a real person, we’ll call him, erm…
Lucifer the light bearer?
Oh Brother Bonto! How is it that you always come out with just the right… Sorry? What? Why are you vigorously pointing up at the ceiling… Oh! Brother Bonto!! Of course. How blessed we are, indeed, this bright and happy morn. Now, where was I?
Lucifer, Brother Bender.
Ah, yes. Got it. SO! We’ll then have Lucifer, God’s number one, rebel against God, then we’ll get him to whisper to the woman. Oh, now get this Brother Bonto. Wait for it. You’ll really like this bit. We’ll get it so that he whispers to the woman, not the man.
Oh no Brother, I mean, God forbid! The man wouldn’t listen to such a whisper.
Bonto ponders, strumming his fingers on the wooden bench. Ah, yes! Okay. Now wait for it… But men being men, they do tend, so I’m told Brother Bender - as I have no understanding of physicality you’ll realise only too well – that he will listen to his wife. And hey presto, here’s the twist! He does that which God told him NOT to do.
Now, you’ll like this bit, Bender. God is walking in the garden in the cool of the evening. But he can’t find the man or woman. So he calls out. You know, like in all fairy stories.
Where are you? Where are you?
Then they sheepishly reveal themselves, and guess what?
They’re naked! And what’s more, they KNOW they’re naked!
Now, Brother Bender, no brother, calm down, calm down! I know you started the story, but I’ve got the drift. You’ve got to imagine how ALL the bums on pews will be reacting. We’re getting them into the palms of our hands.
Yep, hang on, hang on, patience! Don’t rush me, brother!
So, God asks that thy-kingdom-come question…
Who told you, you were naked?
Well, now, that’s when the donkey shat all over the hay. What a mess. And God had a bit of a hissy fit. No, no, I don’t mean the God WE worship, I mean the God in our little story that gets us to guarantee our total control on minions all down ages to come.
There’s an argument between the man and the woman, and here’s the bit you’ll like. I turn God against the woman.
What is this you have done?
Oh Brother Bonto, you’re SO clever. Wow! You’ve caused the woman to be always in second place. Now that really will ring down the ages, especially as, we’ve got to admit it, they’re often wattle-n-daub streets ahead of us!
But what about Lucifer?
Ah well, here’s the other little twist. I’ve got him to become a snake.
Urhhhhhh!
Quite! That’s why. You know, people don’t like snakes, so I’ve got God to turn Lucifer into a snake. I’ve also got him two other names, too.
Two?
Yeah, means that it covers all high streets so to speak. Shat-an ...
What, like what the donkey just did?
No!!!!!!!!!! Though I like that. And in a manner of speaking, yes. We’ll call him satan, and he’s like all the donkey poo the world ever produced all in one go.
Urhhhhhh!
And we’ll give him a title too. People like titles. Devil. The Devil and Satan.
I’ve also created another little twist. Coz by now everyone’s rushing to get into the Kingdom of Heaven. Except, I’m making it so that it’s a very narrow sheep track, literally one sheep behind t’other; and I’m making the other path the widest cattle drove you can imagine in your life Brother Bender. And that’s where everyone goes. And we all know where that goes to?
To heaven by the back Door?
God in Heaven. Are you not listening, Brother Bender? It’s a good job I took over this ‘ere Plot.
No, to this place called hell which I’ve put into the bowels of the earth where there is eternal fire and brimstone, which is true cos we know all about volcanos and Pompeii.
WOWWWWW! I’m so amazed, Brother Bonto.
And here endeth the Lesson
18 April 2024
All Rights Reserved
LIVERPOOL
© 2024 Kenneth Thomas Webb
All Digital Art by © 2024 KTW © 2024 IBM
Written 3 June 2023
Ken Webb is a writer and proofreader. His website, kennwebb.com, showcases his work as a writer, blogger and podcaster, resting on his successive careers as a police officer, progressing to a junior lawyer in succession and trusts as a Fellow of the Institute of Legal Executives, a retired officer with the Royal Air Force Volunteer Reserve, and latterly, for three years, the owner and editor of two lifestyle magazines in Liverpool.
He also just handed over a successful two year chairmanship in Gloucestershire with Cheltenham Regency Probus.
Pandemic aside, he spends his time equally between his city, Liverpool, and the county of his birth, Gloucestershire.
In this fast-paced present age, proof-reading is essential. And this skill also occasionally leads to copy-editing writers’ manuscripts for submission to publishers and also student and post graduate dissertations.
