Love Is ... ... ... ...

LGBTQI+ and All

Liverpool and Gloucestershire

LOVE Is … … … …

Foreword July 2024

There is no contrivance here, no composing. I wrote the first line ~ Love is learning to let go of a relationship ~ and every line followed, naturally, a beating heart, in step with the Universe.

When I’m out walking, whether it be the supermarket, or the city centre or on the hills, I meet a lot of people, and all manner of breeds of dog, as well as horses, and it’s good to stand and chat to the horses and take me back to those wonderful days in the saddle; not to forget the cattle and sheep.

All of us experience this in one way or another.

All of us experience, too, many people of all ages, all shapes and sizes, some who walk as close to the wall as they can, and yet their eyes are alight. And I am constantly reminded of that principle from many thousands of years ago now:

I see the heart not the outward appearance.

Yes. There are people in this world who would bring terror. We know who they are. Let us safeguard all, as well as the stranger within our gate. These are the most dangerous times now since the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1962 and the end of the Second World War in 1945. Do not think that all of that cannot happen again. There are people jostling for the highest positions of power who know full well that should they be given the power for which they crave, that they are fully cognisant that they will instigate violence and death internationally.

Always, always, let us think of our neighbour and the strangter within our gate. Let us rejoice, too, when we see apparently inconsequential people, young and old alike, who have the most incredible glow within them despite their outward appearance presenting them with a huge burden.

THIS is OUR task. Our Duty. Our responsbility.

Ian Bradley Marshall | Kenneth Thomas Webb

23 July 2024

Alpha

Foreword from December 2022

When I wrote this in 2004, I did so very much from the angle of same-sex love. Almost 19 years on, I realise, clearly, that the love felt by different-sex couples and same-sex couples is identical. The narrow-minded, the bigoted, those who would claim they know G-D like no one else can possibly know, least of all such a corrupted mind as mine, will say otherwise. That is their right.

The piece became popular. Friends, the world over, messaged me. It had also found its way onto campus notice boards thousands of miles away from here. And because I had not at that time formally come out, people presumed it was all about being straight. It is.

It’s also all about being straight or gay, being bi, being transgender, being whatever.

There is no boundary line.

A couple of very close friends commented that it seemed to be written from personal experience. One especially looked me squarely in the eye. Ken, this seems a tad auto-bio to me. Please tell me it’s not. Yes, it was. He replied, well thank goodness your one attempt failed. He was referring to an event almost half a century ago, now.

If I was asked to write about being a dad or mum, I could not do so. I don’t have children, so I cannot begin to imagine all the emotions of childbirth. I can, though, write from the point of view of being an uncle and a great-uncle. Hence, the referral to my Nephew, as a toddler, twenty years later his first attempts at worldly advice, and the inexpressible joy when I watched him walk the aisle with his Bride, and as it turns out, just up the road now from where I live. And as I write this foreword, I do so having just learned of the arrival of my fourth great-nephew yesterday morning. Believe me, I understand the emotion, the excitement, the awe and wonder, yes, the sheer wonderment of what has just happened down on the south coast for my niece and her husband.

But I would never presume to say I understand the emotions that parents go through. I cannot.

A few years ago, I was ticked off by a well-meaning bod for writing a good piece of straight poetry when, god-forbid, it turned out that all the time you were a queer! A lively discussion ensued. As you can imagine, that Liverpudlian defiance came out in me. It made me even more defiant by the time 2013 arrived, being instrumental in leading to the third anthology being published under, as another friend called it, something of a double-decker bus title, you know? that line that catches your eye as the bus hurtles by and you can’t get that line out of your head for the rest of the day. I quite liked that!

And in this regard, I have everything to thank my City, Liverpool.

Because it is in Liverpool that I was able to live normally. It is why I keep bouncing back up north. Liverpool and Lancashire are like two huge magnets and I love the thrill and sense of joy when they pull at my inner being. That is when I catch, too, the wonderful sense of sea air, the salt coming off the Mersey and the Irish Sea, even tasting it when waiting for the next Metro or bus.

So LOVE IS … … appears here as written by me in its original livery.

Visitors will find it also produced elsewhere on the website in its straight livery. Only the images change. The writing doesn’t. This proves my point about there being no difference. So, to the narrow-minded, the bigots, the religious fundamentalists … come on! Take two steps forward. Good. Well done. Now take now one more step. Why are you all hesitating? Come on! It’s called the leap of faith. It’s a sheer drop, soft sand for landing, and only 200 meters down. Blimey, your leap of faith will have you gliding down.

Funny, that! At this point, self-righteousness vanishes.

Oh hi there. How are you?

Fine thanks.

What on earth did you say?

You didn’t mention the leap of faith again did you?

I almost got trodden into the mud by a thousand banshees coming down the path.

I’ve told you before, Ken. Stop winding them up!

And that is my main aim as I redirect this website onto a new, lighter and less onerous trajectory. My IT Consultant in Denmark knows exactly what I am intending to achieve in 2023.

It is now Thursday 1 December 2022. It is Day 271 of the War in Ukraine. Yesterday, 29 November, Ukraine’s First Lady Olena Volodymyrivna Zelenska addressed the British Parliament in person. The British People understand fully what the People of Ukraine are doing. In 1939-1941 the British and Commonwealth Peoples held a tyrant at bay on behalf of the Free World, so now, the First Lady reminded us that the Ukrainian People are doing exactly the same … holding a tyrant at bay on behalf of the Free World.

We live in very dangerous times. Freedom and Democracy must prevail. If not, then we shall, once again, witness a Holodomor and a Holocaust. There are very evil minds at work. There are people fully intent on having World War Three.

Those who seek to draw distinctions between peoples on account of sexuality have lost the right to hide behind that bamboo shack argument of being a different culture.

Yesterday, another aspect of sexuality reared its ugly head. In Afghanistan, the Taliban have now decreed that women are forbidden to attend pleasure grounds. Fairgrounds are now Men Only.

And you expect me to listen to your nonsense about your god? Be away with you. You have the stench of the cesspit of humankind about you.

double-decker

…something of a double-decker bus title, you know? …that line that catches your eye
as the bus hurtles by
and you can’t get that line
out of your head
for the rest of the day.

LOVE Is …

Love is learning to let go of a relationship
Love is unconditional – no payment due in return
Love is the sound of your best mate returning home and hearing
the kitbag thrown on the hall mat, 
his whistle and sigh of relief at arriving back, 
his laughter, giggle and rolling of the eyes

Love is watching with joy and anguish the arrivals and departure lounges 
at harbours and airports, railway stations and coach parks

Love is walking the beach with only your mate’s company in your mind’s eye

Love is holding a hand as life slips slowly away

…holding a hand

I chose this image deliberately.
Here is life, it juxtaposes that heart-rending line.
Here, neither is slipping slowly away,
and tomorrow is a new day.

Love is standing aside.

Love is being there when required
but quietly absenting oneself
when presence would make your mate uncomfortable
or put him or his friends and girlfriends under pressure.

Love is trying with all your might to see the other point of view.

Love is being able to express yourself physically without fear
of retribution, offence, lock-up or persecution
Love is refusing to condemn, whatever the circumstances.

Love is wanting the best for your mate and your friends, and
being willing to sacrifice to enable them to achieve.

Love is that first glimpse between a new-born baby and Mum

Love is holding on to Dad tightly.

Love is being able to laugh at oneself to thereby ease a burden
or stress for others.

Love is to be able to kiss with genuine affection,
and without sexual connotation.

Love is to refrain from even attempting to kiss, if it would offend.
Love is to kiss, and be passionate, and life-giving.

Love is without prejudice or indictment.
Love is in the smile, in the grief, in the moment, in the hurried exchanges.

Love is being able to hold on to one’s sisters with all your
might.
Love stretches across the oceans.
Love is waking and feeling the warmth of your mate next to you.
Love is agreeing not to go all the way if the other does not
desire it even though you do.

Love is in the tissue and fibre of every moment of the day.

Love is in the sound of the playground full of children.
Love is in Grandma’s voice.

Love is Mum’s smile that beams a million unspoken words,
and eyes that can write a book in the flash of an instant.

Love is in the music that we love to listen to
as it brings to mind 
the people that mean the most to us,
both near and far, 
in this country and in far distant lands …
… memories of friends
who have suddenly walked out of our lives 
without comment or contact,
so that we do not even know how 
ever again to speak with them,
or hold them,
or love them.

Love is being able to hang on to those memories though, 
and not get upset;
but to rejoice that we had them for a time,
and at least we have and own these memories
that will become more 
priceless and precious as the years unfold …
memories that not even the guards can take away 
as we sit alone in the cell.

Love is a nephew’s first tentative steps …
Love is in a nephew’s first attempts at worldly advice two
decades later … …
Love is in a nephew’s face ~ beaming
as he walks the aisle with his Bride … … …

Love is that mad dash to hospital in the early hours 
when your best mate is on the brink of death
because of an horrendous attempt to end it all.

Love is in the embrace.

Love is hearing your sister walk into the Intensive Care Unit
and seeing the smile for which she is famous …
Love is genuine when it is with compassion
and without restriction.

Love is your friend’s voice on the other end of the line
~ the unexpected text message … and …
that unexpected longhand letter 
that drops through the letter box
on a Saturday morn and suddenly,
despite the weather, the weekend is fantastic!

Love is in those priceless salutations with all my love …
with love and positive vibes …

Love is in that joyous moment when against all the odds,
the mediator has succeeded in bringing siblings back together,
Love is when siblings reconnect without a mediator and
when each quietly nods approval to that unspoken proverb

Let bygones be bygones. Life is too short.

Love is that excruciating feeling
that crushing desire 
to intrude into your best mate’s life
but somehow against all the odds 
managing to restrain from doing so, 
and that thrill
at hearing of your mate’s accomplishments.

Love is in ordinary acts of unsolicited friendship
in the street, 
at the gym,
on the train,
on board ship,
at the garage,
in the air
– when you’ve dropped something
and it’s given back to you
and, suddenly, its value has increased a thousandfold.

Love is the joy of seeing family accept your friends unconditionally!
Love is gently touching the rudder.
Love is giving encouragement and refusing to knock people down.

Love is turning a blind eye regardless of what religious pundits say!
Love is turning a blind eye precisely because of what religious pundits say!

Love is learning to accept age and decline with dignity.

Love is refusing to believe that GOD
does not have a personal plan 
specifically designed
with only you in Mind.

Love is sharing those moments of terrible sorrow 
when all you and your mate want to do 
is to hold onto each other and cry your eyes out.

Love is patient, and kind, and does not question or probe.
Love gives and does not take conditionally.
Love is gentle.
Love sees the best in a person, and ignores the faults.

Love is the light of the world,
and when that light is extinguished
we cannot survive. 
Love triumphs over all.
Love defeats adversity.
Love hates evil.

True love redresses a person’s perception
of what is evil in their eyes 
because of silly superstitions
and outdated, irrelevant theology.

Love does not discriminate,
Love does not persecute,
Love does not marginalize,
Love does not seek to control or manipulate.

Love is sharing space and giving space.
Love is sharing home during a crisis.
Love is in the chatter and in the silence of mates. 
Love is not using friends to occupy your time.

Love is going for a coffee with friends, 
or going for a drink down the pub.

Love is not feeling bitter or downhearted 
when your mate fails to turn up as planned, 
or to make that promised call.

Love is thinking about your mate when he’s gone.
Love is planning the best for your mate.
Love is knowing that somehow he’s always there.

Love is receiving a lovely photograph from him 
by hand or through the post.

Love is being in love
and keeping that to yourself.

Love is growing distant
to protect a relationship,
and to protect yourself
as a means of self-preservation.

Finis

23 July 2024
All Rights Reserved


LIVERPOOL

© 2024 Ian Bradley Marshall © 2024 Kenneth Thomas Webb

Author Note

First written 28 July 2004 8.30 pm Liverpool and last aired 3 December 2022

LOVE IS … was first published by Spiderwize UK in September 2009 in the author’s first anthology Idle Thoughts: A Collection of Poetry and Prose

The superb Double Decker Bus Photo is a Photo by Belinda Fewings on Unsplash