But It IS Normal! ~ Part I

But it IS Normal!

Part I

2003 ~ 2013

A Shimmering at most!

I

WHEN THE whispers of self-righteousness bounce out from darkened corners of rooms it is within my nature to provoke debate.

First published in 2013, I attach great importance to this article.

A lifetime being a lie to myself and therefore a lie to others is its foundation. This last decade I have been trying to make amends and in the process found myself able to write and publish... From the outset there has always been distancing... that leprous feel in cosy circles... and it still pervades our society. 

Working things through the other day found me arriving at the old position that kept me firmly in the closet through three careers, along with the sense of emptiness.

II

And that position was this - and despite the support I receive from some friends and like-minded people, and family, and of course the incredible friends here on Facebook. 

Friendship, acceptance and support brings the admonishing whisperers to the door, gradually weakening resolve and breaking one's will to resist, to carry on, to fight our corner.

It is very easy - in the mind's eye - in such circumstances to slip back into the cosiness of a darkened room, that closet where people must be kept out of public gaze because... well, you know... the neighbours might not like it. And this indictment upon every community down the ages is not confined. It has been so with those with physical and/or mental disabilities, extreme ill-health such as epilepsy.  

III

In 2013, one day chatting to a friend riled me, when he explained how his neighbours had come round to apologise to him for the fact that their builders working on their extension had removed their shirts, and two were bearing exposed pierced nipples and tattoos.

"Disgusting!"

Frankly, it upset my day. 

It has been building up all week from the negative feedback and pronunciations I get about how I must act responsibly and deny what 'in God's Name you consider to be your true self.' 

And whilst I am very much a ‘back against the walls brit’, no pun intended, when it comes to standing my ground and then striking back, a certain weariness has been creeping in and I emailed one of my friends on various matters and then, as we sometimes do with those closest to us, lobbed one comment in ~ a quick request for advice.

I'd decided that I was after all abnormal (and with that came all the horrors of those terrible years in the 1970s and 1980s and 1990s, where it was made clear that I was abnormal unless I got married, had kids and thereby proved that I was normal. I hasten to add, none of that came from my family. It came from that especially narrow-minded section of the wider church. As regards the epilepsy, well, we can deal with that with prayer, as obviously God is using this as a means of disciplining you.

So my last line to my mate was just a simple statement: "I wish I was f… … normal!"

Ignoring all the main items in our discussion by email, this guy - totally straight, moreover - did what I call a right hook and upper cut! I know how he thinks, and I know when he gets truly pissed off. And boy am I glad he did. For in his reply came this one simple statement:

Ken. Gay IS normal! When you forget that, hope is lost!! Idiot!!!

Yep - there it all is.

In those twelve simple words, those three sentences that have the power of the Universe behind them, and enlightened readers will get just What or Who I'm referring to here. About Whom by the way I do not see as we are expected to see. A shimmering at best. An aspect of Nature. Nature, supreme.

IV

This page (the book's Facebook page www.facebook.com/BGBBW) is all about being gay, being bi, whatever. It is all about inclusive sexuality. It is all about living, and letting others live too. 

We DO have a very long way to go.

On the one hand, I am greatly heartened by the massive supports and 'shares' of that lovely image of the two American footballers in full kit and with their team numbers 2 and 8, a lovely kick back at the old Section 28 UK Law that forbade promotion of homosexuality by teachers in schools in sex education lessons.

On the other hand, I am alarmed at the Leader Article in The Independent (August 19, 2013) in which it reports that schools are - through the backdoor - keeping very much alive Section 28. Granted, the Government has acted swiftly and set up an inquiry, but we are dealing with young people's lives in their formative years. And they need substance answers to substance questions, and they have the right to truth, honesty and transparency from their teachers.

V

To conclude, you know what? I say to those who've scoffed at the book Being Gay Being Bi Whatever, to those who feel it would be better if it was called Being Whatever, to those bookshops in Lancashire who won't put it on their bookshelves for fear of offending their customers. Get over it. Accept the fact that being gay or lesbian or bisexual is perfectly normal and natural, always has been, and always will be.

The apparent ‘abnormality’ emanates solely from the minds that prefer superstition and myth, to reality, scientific explanation and truth, the tubular roots of which are found in every religion and the mindset of every fundamentalist.

I am still very attached to Liverpool. Long may this continue.

28 February 2025

First Written and Published 21 August 2013